she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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