if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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