glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
