My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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