The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
