Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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