I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
