i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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