No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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