I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I'm having to shit out rocks
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