dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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