I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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