Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
