i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
