your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
