The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
