my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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