420 ftw
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
