They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
