Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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