why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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