so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
