it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I have grass duct taped all over my body
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
