Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
