There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
