If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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