I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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