Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
