she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
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In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
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Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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