the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
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