I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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