My nipple is on Facebook.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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