The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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