why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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