My friends, they love my intelligence
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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