She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize