i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
