LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Pooping to opera.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
