does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
