Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
