I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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