i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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