your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
my mouth tastes like poor choices
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
