please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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