i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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