To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
