Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
