I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
