I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i think i have two assholes
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
