Tell her she can't have a vagina
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
