its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
