with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
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He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
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strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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