i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
