Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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