we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She bit a glass in half.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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