is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
