I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
